Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
