Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
