I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize