she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize