do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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