All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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