i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
