My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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