i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
