i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
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He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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