i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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