fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
