She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
