Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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