Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
