pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
