I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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