I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
