trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
