I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i out mim tonsoeep
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