There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
