there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
