What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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