I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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