you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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