its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
