you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
