That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!