he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
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it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
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I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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