we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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