I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So vagazzling was a success
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
