Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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