People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
