Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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