I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
