She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
