The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
