lets start a swedish sibling band together
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize