You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
