Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize