I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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