This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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