like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
