Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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