I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
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Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
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also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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