3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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