Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
