Someone shit on the floor
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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