dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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