Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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