We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
