Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
there was a trapeze. enough said
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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