): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize