I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
