sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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