News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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