Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
