The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
