Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
