she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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