Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize