nut hugger
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
