She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
